dude i'm inner monologue high
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
