did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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