If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I love having hate sex.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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