Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
