so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
