i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
