he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
