Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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