i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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