Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
