were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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