Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
