careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
