I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
