I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
