I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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