I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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