So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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