Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
