That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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