no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
