she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
