So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
