If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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