And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
