does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
