Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it was like eating out sand paper
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
