did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
