There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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