and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
