last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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