hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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