yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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