Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
