If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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