He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Holy sore nipples Batman
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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