Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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