so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
