u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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