On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
