I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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