i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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