need another drink. this is the easiest way
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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