I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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