Non-Jews are for practice
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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