I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
