its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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