If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
