no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
