Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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