I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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