i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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