apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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