One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
