look no pants
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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