It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
