don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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