if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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