I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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