Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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