Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
