some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
