I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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