you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
