she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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