There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
